it's been far too long ,,,

Thought I'd pop by to enjoy monk musings, and like Esther, was not disappointed!

Why have I been avoiding this blog?

I've been trying to adjust to motherhood ,,, it's been over 10 months now, and the feeling that it is all just too huge a task is still with me ,,, so this sense of barely coping, and not having time for anything has infected my whole life, and I'm only just recently realising that feeling unable to cope is only a little bit about practical real things, and quite a lot about perception ,,,

Today, each day now, I'm trying to grasp hold of a bit of peace, and the understanding that all is well, that I have all I need, that I have time and space for all I need and that I have God's infinite store of resources to draw from all day long ,,,

With that in mind, I think I'll go back and read through your sharings, fellow monks ,,, I'll take time, breathe deeply, not mind anything, and draw it all in ,,,

God bless you!!

And just for fun, here's a vid of baby eating grapes last week :-)

billy

[stick this one on my funeral song list...]

faith

i really like this thought from the our friend abbot ian of mayBe's blog... "...explore the possibility that faith is stepping into the stream of what God is already doing. That faith is not primarily about our faith in God, but about God's faith in us.... "

[van morrison's version of 'be thou my vision']

si

the bible

so i'm trying to do the lectio divina - seek some silence, ask god to inspire my thoughts and speak as i read through a passage several times. in the morning before i start work, and then again at night before i kip. i'm going through john's gospel, paragraph by paragraph. and i'm enjoying it.

via maggi dawn's blog, i found this interesting quote about the Evangelical approach to bible study here - http://revlamblove.wordpress.com/2008/02/01/the-evangelical-hermeneutic/

"When approaching a text such a one unconsciously applies the following principles to elicit its meaning.

1. It is about me. Whatever the book, be it Pentateuch, prophets, psalms, gospel or epistle—it is talking about me.

2. It tells me what to do or what not to do. An action is required on my part. My ability to do or not to do what the bible tells me is equal to my goodness or wickedness.

3. It condemns those that are different from me. People who are non-Christian (those who freely admit their lack of faith or worse profess a false faith) or unchristian (people who say they are Christian but demonstrate their lack of salvation by their actions, whether it be thinking premarital sex is not bad or going to an Episcopal church).

4. It implies the opposite. Every pronouncement of grace points to my own condemnation if I fail. Every promise is a threat. Everything that God does, reveals what I must do."

that pretty effectively caricatures the mentality that i was taught or at least thought was 'right' when i became a christian.
and i think it's why i struggle with bible reading now - it's hard to shake.

but i'm enjoying the 'good as new' translation. for a start it has no verses numbered, so it flows better. and it's written in a very provocative way - names are altered to better reflect their original context [eg - peter becomes 'rocky'!] - and sometimes it's infuriating, but it's always thought-provoking, and for me that's good - i'm arguing with the text and thinking about it and questioning it like i've not done before. it's really good stuff.


['tinseltown in the rain' and 'regret' by the blue nile]

si

sharing god's nature...

read this morning [in my 'good as new' bible] that we are the rightful children of god because we share god's nature. later in the same passage it says that christ is "the one faithful likeness who shares god's nature [and] has shown us what god is like"

when i look at myself, can i truly say that i share god's nature? like christ did/does??

can i honestly say that i even aspire to that in the everyday course of my life...?

my head's down so much of the time, bogged down by mundanity; again, i need to lift up my head and aim higher...
i need to actively work out what it means to share god's nature.



[that's not meant to sound like i'm beating myself up over it btw, more that i'm a bit staggered and excited and possibly a bit daunted at the thought...!]




['so here we are' - bloc party]

From afar

Thank you Si for making an effort to write. I decided to take a quick look at the blog to see if anyone had written and wasn't disappointed...

I love the macabre but sensible way you're ensuring your favourite tunes get played at your funeral too. We will all hold Sue accountable for it.

Just incase you're worried Sue - my tongue is close to my cheek right now.

I'm not giving myself a lot of head space right now either. Oh I have lots of time and plenty of opportunity but it's incredible how distracted one can get even miles from home and with very little to do.

However I will keep trying. I have a couple of books here that contain prayers which may assist me. I could at least try reading one those every day.

By the way, thank you Si for letting me know about John O'Donohue's death. I think I'm in mourning for him a little... and it feels strange considering his words helped me to come to terms with the other deaths that have happened recently. Like a horrible kind of coincidence.

Well. That's all anyway. Just wanted to clock in for a bit.

Esther

nothing much

nothing much to post this week. feeling a bit uninspired, spiritually speaking. work is taking up a lot of my headspace and my time at present.
the good thing is that i feel uncomfortable about it. in times past i don't think that i'd even have recognised the inbalance...

(funeral playlist = 'jimmy james' - steve lawson)