I admit, though I've been enjoying reading the book and thinking about it, I haven't really been taking it seriously ... until recently ... since hearing about "framing my day with silence" with 5 minutes of silence at the beginning, and 5 minutes of silence at the end.
What an idea! I don't know why but just the idea of framing of my days really gets to me.
Well, I'm trying. My first "framed" day was two days ago. And it was a surprising experience.
I keep getting pictures and thoughts ... and just to be a bit cryptic, one thought that I keep coming back to is: "I am a tree." I thought I'd quite like to be in a house, and quite like to have a cat, but trees don't belong in houses, nor do they keep cats.
Entonces, my fellow monks, I'm now going wholehog ... apologies for my lack of commitment heretofore!
Thursday 19 April 2007
Monday 16 April 2007
weird side effect...
here's a weird side effect of this journey that we're on.
i always have a sketchbook with me - in a free moment i'll scribble away in it. not sketching as such, just filling the thing with ideas and potential projects and stuff...
since we've been doing the stillness thing though, i've struggled to find anything put down on paper.
this is, generally speaking, a good thing - though there may not be so many other outward signs of it as yet, i'm quietening down inside...
there's less need to be doing stuff and churning out ideas, more time to just be. it's good, and kind of scary, letting go of that need to always be producing...
si
i always have a sketchbook with me - in a free moment i'll scribble away in it. not sketching as such, just filling the thing with ideas and potential projects and stuff...
since we've been doing the stillness thing though, i've struggled to find anything put down on paper.
this is, generally speaking, a good thing - though there may not be so many other outward signs of it as yet, i'm quietening down inside...
there's less need to be doing stuff and churning out ideas, more time to just be. it's good, and kind of scary, letting go of that need to always be producing...
si
Sunday 1 April 2007
solitude and setting sail
at our last meal, james mentioned henri nouwen, and some of his thoughts on solitude and community...
i work alone, from home, and so the idea of solitude is quite an appropriate one for me to be grappling with.
in the passage that james has sent us, he (nouwen) contrasts the states of loneliness and solitude - 'loneliness is painful, solitude is peaceful. loneliness makes us cling to others in desperation, solitude allows us to respect others in their uniqueness and create community.' (he goes on to expand on this idea, but if i try to precis him i won't do him justice...if i can find a link at some point, i'll post it! )
it ties in with the monastic idea of wrestling with your demons in the stillness and the silence... this past week i've been a bit more intentional in my aloneness, trying to work out the solitude and rather than just avoiding the loneliness, and i've ended up having to confront some of my less pleasant traits on several occasions. this is a good thing, but also quite a difficult thing - there are hard lessons to learn, but it's an important process to enter into. it feels like i've stumbled into something quite pivotal and exciting and not a little frightening; something liberating and necessary and potentially rather wonderful; a place where maybe god can get at me (thank you james!)
also, this weekend we were with the revive community at sneaton castle with mark berry, who talked to us about exile and communitas and pilgrimage... there was loads of good stuff to chew on and grapple with in there*. lots of affirmation of the journey that we have made ths far, and plenty of encouragement for the next step ("set sail"). sue and i have been talking about where our little monastic group might go in the light of what was discussed - there's not time or space to open that up here now (i should have been asleep half an hour ago!) but maybe we'll post more over the coming days as the ideas and possibilities settle in our minds...
*see mark's blog http://markjberry.blogs.com/way_out_west/2007/03/a_third_place.html for his bullet points (hope to have his powerpoint slides later in the week for more detailed reflection!)
si ;-)
i work alone, from home, and so the idea of solitude is quite an appropriate one for me to be grappling with.
in the passage that james has sent us, he (nouwen) contrasts the states of loneliness and solitude - 'loneliness is painful, solitude is peaceful. loneliness makes us cling to others in desperation, solitude allows us to respect others in their uniqueness and create community.' (he goes on to expand on this idea, but if i try to precis him i won't do him justice...if i can find a link at some point, i'll post it! )
it ties in with the monastic idea of wrestling with your demons in the stillness and the silence... this past week i've been a bit more intentional in my aloneness, trying to work out the solitude and rather than just avoiding the loneliness, and i've ended up having to confront some of my less pleasant traits on several occasions. this is a good thing, but also quite a difficult thing - there are hard lessons to learn, but it's an important process to enter into. it feels like i've stumbled into something quite pivotal and exciting and not a little frightening; something liberating and necessary and potentially rather wonderful; a place where maybe god can get at me (thank you james!)
also, this weekend we were with the revive community at sneaton castle with mark berry, who talked to us about exile and communitas and pilgrimage... there was loads of good stuff to chew on and grapple with in there*. lots of affirmation of the journey that we have made ths far, and plenty of encouragement for the next step ("set sail"). sue and i have been talking about where our little monastic group might go in the light of what was discussed - there's not time or space to open that up here now (i should have been asleep half an hour ago!) but maybe we'll post more over the coming days as the ideas and possibilities settle in our minds...
*see mark's blog http://markjberry.blogs.com/way_out_west/2007/03/a_third_place.html for his bullet points (hope to have his powerpoint slides later in the week for more detailed reflection!)
si ;-)
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