Does God will?

I've avoided thinking too much about what or how or whether God wills certain things for us in recent years - it just seems to be unlikely that God would have a detailed specific plan for every human being that ever existed... And I've never been keen on the inevitable follow-on thought that once the plan was missed - one would have lost one's way irrevocably.

Of course a sensible conception of God's will probably doesn't entail such a precise determination of destiny anyway but it remains a concept that occasionally troubles me - does God will things for me?

Today I was despairing about my work - feeling like I just can't do what I've got to do and wondering how I ever got myself into it in the first place.

There have been moments - one of them during a Catholic mass on Easter Saturday in a small village in Bali - when I've felt transcendentally sure about the 'rightness' of what I'm doing at the moment, but generally I assume I was lucky to get the funding and happened to be in the right place at the right time. However, while I am currently questioning my ability to do what I am doing - there is some comfort to be derived by imagining that somehow it is 'meant to be'... because if it is 'meant to be' then surely I'll be able to do it...

Of course now that I write that down I realise how silly it sounds. Why should I be doing something that's 'meant to be' anyway... life is mostly about learning from whatever circumstances we find ourselves in - most of the world's population don't have the chance to wonder if what they're doing is 'meant to be'. They just have to get on with it!

Maybe that is just what I should be doing - learning from this experience however hard it is because if God does 'will' anything for me then learning is probably in there somewhere, right? Hmmm... I could do with some divine intervention though - anyone? Anyone? Anyone?