peace

It's so great being somewhere different, strange, where I find everything - from the landscape to the language - slightly challenging and weird. It reminds me of my own frailty, and the cultural and familial props that I use to create a false sense of peace in my everyday life.

Peace comes from communion with the Creator, where else could it come from?

I've been slow to realise this, and the first few days here were filled with an ongoing and persistent internal tension that confounded me, as I had no idea why I should be feeling that way. Similarly, I dreamt horrific, oppressive dreams each night, again baffling myself when outwardly all seemed so well, and relaxed and holiday-like.

Then I realised that I was still trying to live on my own terms (as I wrote about 2 weeks ago) but I didn't have the usual props (familiar landscape, known routines, familiar weather, etc) that I rely on to instill my own sense of "alrightness", and now in this not-so-strange land I had to face up to my dis-connection with the Creator once again, and get reconnected.

Thankfully, this was quite simple, and involved me taking a moment to acknowledge that I was out of kilter, and needed to hook up with God again, and wanted to partner with him, relying on him for direction and grace to be and do, involving him in my daily decisions, and allowing him to speak into my conscience and consciousness.

Since then, I have slept beautifully, and although I still have moments of ongoing daily internal tension, I also experience waves of peace as I sense God's good presence with, within, and around me.

Thanks for the prayers, monks in Leeds.

See you soon,

James