church/Church

apologies again in advance for the rambly-ness of this post...

james shaw was round yesterday, to slap some fibre glass on jesus' bottom [don't ask]
we had a good chat about a whole load of stuff, including revive and the way it operates - both the good and the bad aspects of that - we touched on stuff about prophets, and authority, and leadership, and the extent to which folk in churches make themselves accountable to their leaders and to each other...

anyway, i came away with a renewed sense of just how far out of Church my journey has taken me.
in one sense, i'm still part of church - as in the sense of the family of god. using the word church in that way, i am, and i hope that i always will be, churched.
but in the sense of membership of the Institution, in submitting myself to the authority and hierarchy and organisational practices of a Church or denomination... well i'm long gone... talking to james made me realize again just how far behind me that all is.

[and that doesn't mean that i think of myself as any better than folk who love the Church instutions and have chosen to stay and do their faith there. just that our journeys are very different.]

[and sometimes on the journey you have cause to pause and look back and see how far you've travelled...]

so.
if i'm not a part of Church anymore, what am i part of?
what's the template that'll frame the faith thing for me now?
how do i make it work outside the context of a Church fellowship thing?
i think it's the monastic model.

it's not like i've not known this for a while. more that talking with james gave me a refreshed perspective about where i'm headed. and i'm left thinking again that i need to be more intentional about the monastic thing - i can't afford to let it drift...

and that in itself throws up a whole load of questions in my mind about our group, and how formal we are/can be as a group, and how intentional and committed we are or might want to be or might become; to each other and to what we create together...

as usual, i have no answers, but these are the things i'm pondering...
for my part, i feel that maybe i've been dabbling with it for long enough now - could be time to take a deep breath dive in...? what do you all reckon?

si